After three years at WestPoint academy, Mando, my daughter, transferred to University of Hawaii to continue her professional swimming for the University varsity team.
From New York to Hawaii, the gap was wide open with 7 time zones apart. The space was stretching thin with uncertainty that caused anxiety for the whole family. We were in the dark hole trying to hold each other tight in sadness and depression that caused by unspoken and unprocessed trauma in the past.
However, the gap was also filled
with overwhelming emotional support from the schools, swim coaches from
WestPoint, Naval Academy and Seattle swim club, family members from both sides and good friends.
We arrived at
Oahu in a hot summertime, August 2022, to help Mando move into a small
apartment that was 10 minutes’ drive to the school and the swimming pool.
My husband also
shipped Mando's red scion car from Seattle a week before we arrived.
She was
ready to go back to swim and study.
My brother-in-law
came over to Hawaii the same week to help with the move. He took Mando around
to visit Oahu and shopping for the new place. They went to iconic Diamond Head
and Waikiki beaches. They went to check out fresh Poke from Food Land.
One thing that my brother-in-law suggested for
us was a nationally famous restaurant in China Town called The Pig and the Lady.
Both him and
Mando were disappointed that they could not get in because it was fully booked.
We were told that during the summer, The Pig and The Lady was usually booked a month in advance.
We stayed in
Hawaii for three weeks that summer. Luckily, on the last day of our stay, we got
reservation for dinner at The Pig and the Lady. Since Hawaii was extremely expensive in general, this Vietnamese
restaurant was not exceptional. It was pricy. We usually did not go to expensive restaurants.
Yet, this time we went to celebrate Mando’s new chapter in Hawaii, known as
the most beautiful place
on Earth.
The dinner menu started at 5 PM. There was a
long time since we arrived at 5 PM sharp. Inside, there were people chatting and sitting at
the bar already. The menu was quite impressive with a lot of creative food that
fuse between Vietnamese and other ethnic food.
I ordered an in house special called Phở
75 with oxtail. Mando ordered Wayuu steaks and Nguyen a poke. Later, Nguyen
suggested Mando a charred marrow bone. And of course I got my vodka
cocktail. The dinner was pricy but worth it. Everything was delicious
and satisfying.
The “fuse” part was quite subtle, flavorful
and artsy. The atmosphere was charming and cozily cute. The bathroom was showcased small gallery of
old Vietnamese magazines and images of the Sai Gon before 1975.
After the
first time I already knew that I would come back to try other dishes later.
Next time
when I came back to Hawaii, Mando already had a small 50 cc moped to ride around. She was
good at riding the moped. She bought herself a fancy black -spider man style- helmet as the school and swim coach required. But when riding with me, both comfortably without helmets. She excitedly rode me places around Waikiki
and always thoughtfully
asked, “Mom, are you OK ? Are you scared?” I said nope. I felt like I was
coming home back in Sài Gòn on my Honda Dream Lùn .
She made a reservation to go back to The Lady and the Pig on one Saturday
night. We did not have to look for the parking lot. We conveniently parked our moped right in front of the restaurant.
Both mom and daughter sat in front of the station when a skillful young chef, a stylist hair bundle on one side, wore a black professional outfit, prepared the entrée for the customers. We looked at what she made and continued to order along from her as we ate. My sweet Mando always asked and suggested me a drink first.
Again, I ordered my favorite Phở 75 with oxtail. Mando introduced me
to the Burmese cabbage tea salad. The taste was surprisingly subtle. The color of white and purple cabbage mixed with green herb and peanut on top won
my heart. We had few more dishes until neither could stuff our stomach.
We took the left-over phở home. Both were full and satisfied.
UH swim team
in 2024 was strong with the new coach came from Boston. After a year
coaching, he led the
whole teams both men and women won the regional championship at St. George
University of Utah in 2024. Parents went to Utah to support and cheer for the
team. Things were good.
The third
time we came back to The Pig and the Lady was at the end of 2024 to
celebrate New Year 2025.
We invited my
best friend who just moved to Hawaii few months ago with us.
This time we
came to try the lunch menu. My husband ordered papaya salad. I tried the Hai Nam
chicken rice and mixed fish sauce. My friend had a bowl of phở. Again, everything was good.
I was a
little disappointed. I told my friend, “next time we should try the dinner menu which would offer more
variety.”
During that week, parents came over to celebrate senior swimmers of Hawaii varsity swim team. The event lasted from 3 PM until 9 PM. Parents, including me, my husband and my friend stayed at the pool with the team through the rainy and windy weather. The long night embraced every one with wholeheartedly warm wishes, the cheerful shouts out and thoughtful speeches they shared with the seniors. So many leis were sent to seniors that day.
We were happy and proud as Mando was finishing her 17-year professional swimming career. Staring swimming at 7 years old, now she was a senior , a big sister of the team.
Personally,
I had my own happy surprise when
she declared that she would aim for MFA after graduation. She would like to be an artist just like her
mother and her grandmother.
Then the coach
got recruited by Stanford. By the end of Mando’s last season, the coach was
gone. She also finished her final swimming season in Houston.
Not busy
with swimming schedule like before, Mando focused on art. She tried out glass
making and ceramic. Ceramic sticked with her. Clay was earth element. Clay was solid and grounded. She was good at throwing. She was good at centering herself through
clay. Also, she adventured to animation. Like I mentioned from my previous
note, Mando’s unique
voice over and drawings always convey such a deeper sense to finding herself inward, searching for life
meaning and practicing healing.
Spring 2025, Mando decided to delay her graduation so she could go to Hokkaido University
in Japan for one year extension to learn Japanese culture and art.
In summer 2025, Mando told us that The Pig
and The Lady in China Town would be closed soon and moved to a new location
in Moana, one mile away from University of Hawaii. The news featured an owner’s
interview with emotional announcement. We were sad but that was it. We did not
think much. When they move to new place, we will go there to try out as well.
We thought.
We went back
to Hawaii by the very end of 2025 to celebrate 2026 New Year. While Mando
celebrated New Year with a new set of friends in Hokkaido, we made our reservations to go to The
Pig and The Lady so we can try the dinner menu.
This new
restaurant was located in an affluent neighborhood next to the University of Hawaii . Predictably, the place already packed with customers when we arrived. It was hard to find parking.
My husband drove around the block twice. Finally, he had to drop me and my
friend off so he could get further parking up the hilly sidewalk.
The new
location looked shiny upscale, which obviously improved from the previous
restaurant. The coziness was gone but at least the rest room was clean. I thought.
We were happy that we got the table 10 minutes
early. Everything looked promising a good New Year dinner until The Pig’s
new menu was introduced to us.
The new menu
was much shorter than the previous one.
I looked up
and down and I did not see anything that familiar excepted for Phở 75, Bánh xèo, Bò kho (beef stew ) and something
called Canh bí đỏ ( yellow soup with Vietnamese kabocha).
My husband and
my friend ordered Phở 75. I looked at the menu confusedly. The waiter waited patiently to help
me to figure out what I wanted to order.
I asked about
Bò kho (beef stew) which apparently was very
popular and familiar in Vietnamese menu, the waiter gently explained that was
not Bò kho as we knew
it, it was actually pasta !!!!
Then I asked
about Canh bí đỏ, the waiter again explained to me that actually
another pastas dish dip with kabocha soup !
Increasingly
confused, half embarrassed and half disappointed I ended up ordering bánh xèo
with absolute confidence that at least
I know that bánh xèo was, I thought for myself.
For the
cocktail, I blindly ordered the last one from drink menu called “Part of your
day” and my friend went with her favorite beer.
Follow up
with phở 75 order, the
waiter politely asked if we wanted the North or the South broth style. Now it was
my non-Vietnamese friend got confused. Both I and my husband proudly explained
to her what was the difference and I strongly suggested that she should order
the North style so she would get the flavor of original Phở.
The food
came first with two bowls of Phở 75. There were chopped garlic and few slides of red chill on top of
something that they call “hand-chopped
beef meat”.
In reality, this
was a minced or grind and whatever it was that smashed up proteins into
undefinable form on top of overcooked white noodle plus some seaweed- like-
green in the middle and filled up with warm luke broth. Obviously, this broth
was not from the North nor South. Apparently, it was not from the East nor
West. It sadly came from the oblivious nonsensical straight to Hell.
Meanwhile drinks arrived with no gin that I found out after my first sip.
And.
I forgot to
mention drinks came after the food. My friend lost her appetite for her food.
She said, “we should have drink first and then we eat.”
The final blow
to my face was the dish of bánh xèo. The yellow folded half circle pancake looked sad and pissed as someone worked
overtime in the dark wet weekend without getting paid.
Who serves bánh xèo filled with slices of Chinese sauce in the
middle, two slides of
taro and salsa dip? They took a fish sauce away !
In order to
write this note, I came back to check out The Pig and The Lady 's menu from their website.
It turned out that it was our mistake that we did not research the menu thoroughly before ordering the food. We are so entitled to the food that we grew up with, we did not even read!!!!
I thought life was already hard. We should have not need
to do research before and after ordering the meal ? Because we pay for that ?
The actual
title The Pig and the Lady’s Bánh xèo for the new menu was,
Pa’I’AI Banh Xeo: crispy turmeric crepe, mana
ai pounded taro, lap xuong , dried shrimp, lettuce wrap, lomi tomato nuoc cham.”
For $25.
I visualized a melting pot of disaster. And.
We blindly ordered and paid for it.
Our fault.
I was sorry
that I did not contemplate that I have to read all of ingredients to order the
bánh xèo. I am the one of the kind mothers who named my daughter after my
favorite food, Bánh
Xèo. I thought I knew
the dish by my flesh, heart and soul.
Turn out, humbly no.
The Pig and The Lady took that confidence away! I did not know
anything.
I said to
myself, “Please just call something else, not called this dish as bánh xèo no more.” “Could we just at least leave bánh
xèo alone?”
We did not finish the whole pancake.
We left. Heartbroken
after paying $150 for the dinner plus surcharge for kitchen staff.
The
disappointment turned into anger with the accusation that the new menu took the
soul of the previous menu away incomprehensibly. Why changed the
already nationally famous menu? Because they moved from substandard China Town to upscale Moana? Must adjust to a new affluent customers? Some one said, if you follow
the money, you will find out the truth?
The soul of
Vietnamese food was not there. The soulless food brough the experience down to
negative zero.
Things happened for a reason, and I did not understand just yet.
One thing I know for sure that the new
restaurant won’t serve hard- cored Vietnamese customers like us anymore.
For the sake of New Year, I wish The Pig and The Lady good luck with the fusing plus diversify plus inclusion adventure.
As for us, we
parted from this once-beloved restaurant after the fourth time. With bitter sweet farewell, I would cherish the first time experience of in-house special Phở ̃̀75 in my heart for a fond of it.
Good things did not
last forever.
When I flew back to Seattle, my son texted me asking what food I wanted to eat when I arrived. As usual, I texted him " something hot ".
He bought me a bowl of authentic phở from Phở Bắc,
a restaurant one block away from our place. $ 20 bowl of regular phở tasted heavenly delicious.
The note was already long. I vented enough to peacefully put this experience behind to focus on good things we have.
I would like to share that we have had a lovely time in Hawaii for the last three years. Hawaii is undeniably one of best places on Earth. The sun , sea, wind ,sand and people in Hawaii make sense. The air in Hawaii is fresh enough so people greeting each other as Aloha ( sharing a breath to share a life ) .
Hawaii generously has offered our family a fresh start. We all finally moved out the dark hole all together as a much stronger family unit. We could stay under the sun and breath a fresh air. Something did not kill you will make you stronger. I believed.
We are planning
to stay in Hawaii, without The Pig's Son (my friend suggested the restaurant
should change the name to reflect their fusion upscale menu).
Time passed.
2026 here already.
Good things did not last forever and bad things would not stay permanently.
We look ahead to embrace a peaceful year.
After that dinner, me, my husband and my friend came back to our place to have more interesting things to discuses and share. Wisdom and insights unexpectedly came along as add- on bonus after the bad dinner.
One door shut. Another door opens.
Stunningly beautiful pictures of Hawaii I took on Dec, 31,2025.
