Dream

 I have a habit to write down my dreams the day after if I remember. I use this blog to quickly type it down to I could process it later. Usually, I do not post this kinda entry in public because it is confusing and personal. ( All the entries are personal but at least I was not confused ). 

A lot of dreams carried images and events do not make sense at first.  It would need a lot of time and clues and thingkings to kinda guess or most of the dreams, end up unconclusive. 

Dreams have been helping me to heal things in the past. It is hard to write down in Vietnamese so I keep doing it in English to record my dreams so far. 

Today I decided to share with someone  one of my dreams couple years ago. 

This one was done on Jan 26/2021 with the title Time or Reconciliation with the past.

Have been dreaming a lot about Cao Thang. 

1. I dreamt of my childhood friend Thao and Chien. Thao lived on the 3rd floor/me on the 4th/anh Chien on the 5th floor. We used to hang out a lot during that time. Me and Thao still stay connected on FB but I have not seen him in person since he left VN for Poland 30 years ago. If I saw him in person right now, I could have never recognized him. Nam, my brother said that he is living in Germany now. I remembered exchanging emails with him one time 10 years ago. He said that he is married with two children.

The dream at night kept leading me back to my apartment in Cao Thang. 

2. I dreamt of my ex-boyfriend with other friends and my mother inside my small apartment. He wore his white t-shirt. He said sorry and wished I would forgive him. He hugged me from behind. I felt his body heat, which felt real. It was warm and I remembered feeling comfortable. I did not say anything but smiled at him. 

3. Dream last night was the picture of the corner of Vo Van Tan and Cao Thang. Thy, her sister, and her daughter amd me. Four of us across the street. Thy and I went up to Cao Thang's apartment, not her sister and daughter. ( I guess because they never went up to my mother's apartment ) I could feel we both climbed upstairs and how tired it would feel for both of us. 

4. Dream happen last Sunday, after Thanks Giving. About my ex again. We were very intimate but not anything sexual. He showed me that he loved studying just like my best friend Miyuki. I  guessed the day before that night, Miyuki told me that she bought over 10 courses online because of the Black Friday promotion. She bought Trauma/Addiction and other courses for her continuing education practices. 

His images came back several times again and again. Gently. I guess I am slowly reconciling with my past through dreams like that. 

Note for today: My dreams showed me that you already said apologies and I already forgive you a while ago. It was a part of me and you. Like a dream. A long time ago. No need to either delete /curse or do whatever. Let it be. 

Timeline of this dream is off because sometimes I would write it down to my sketch or a piece of paper then type it back. But I know for sure the year is accurate. 2021 is important for it gives us proof that time can heal even though it would take such a long time.  I hope that the healing came from the dream unexpectedly, unconsciously, and vividly like this is the most sincere/truthful kind of healing so both can move on.

Have a long deep meditation tonight to welcome a next dream.